i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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