TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
