Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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