so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
