everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
