i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
