she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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