But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
