My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
