At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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