oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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