My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
