Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
