just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My vagina is officially offended.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
