what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
