my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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