All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
