I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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