White coat. Heels.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
