ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
