New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
not ubering you a puppy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize