I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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