you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
