I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
