hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
