i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
