I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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