i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
