i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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