It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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