Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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