i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
