Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
