he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
