He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
