It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just gift wrapped bread.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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