Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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