Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
