he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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