I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
