if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
