Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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