so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
