We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
