I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
