Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
