Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she told me i tasted like america
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
