I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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