who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
