It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
