Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
