I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
