glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is Oprah even human
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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