You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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